Today we are talking about embarrassment! I almost revel in awkward situations because there isn’t a human on this earth who can escape them. Think of the coolest person you can! They’ve been mortified more than once in their life. Guaranteed. Embarrassment, bringing us all closer together!
It’s really hard for me to pinpoint my most embarrassing moment ever because I’ve probably blocked out a lot of middle school, where embarrassment breeds. Of course, I’ve already written about when I got the “Best Friends” award… for playing field hockey… and I had to accept it alone because my best friend skipped the freakin’ ceremony.
There was also the ski club trip in 7th grade where I completely wiped out while carrying my dinner tray in the lodge… in front of all the coolest boys. Food and drink everywhere. Me, splayed out on the floor in my full snowsuit regalia. Yes, that was a fine moment indeed.
A more recent incident happened at Chipotle a few weeks ago. As I was waiting in line, I went to grab my wallet and something fell out of my purse. The kind gentleman in front of me realized I had dropped something and bent over about halfway to picking it up… before he realized it was a tampon and promptly shot straight back up and turned around. Then we had to wait in the line together and pretend it never happened.
Though, I have to admit, my most embarrassing moment probably involved me opening my big fat mouth and promptly putting my foot in it because that, my friends, is the kind of awkward situation I truly excel at. However, I must admit that I’m kind of glad I’m so good at blocking most of these from my memory. Bad for the writing assignment, good for my sanity!
EDITED TO ADD: Oh, ohhhh, how could I possibly forget that one time, literally one of like two times, I actually fell asleep on a plane. Fell asleep on the shoulder of the giant man-stranger next to me. Open-mouthed, drooling, the works. The best part was that he didn’t shove me off of him like I would have done pretty immediately (or at least at the advent of the drooling!). So I woke up all snuggled up into his shoulder… and super confused. I am such a treat.