Thursday, March 22, 2012

A Man’s Take on Layering


jeans: Levis, jacket: Alpine, cardigan: Banana Republic, flannel: Lands End Canvas, green t-shirt: local NH shop, shoes: Dockers, glasses: Ray Ban

{Hello all, my mind is shot this week, so I coerced James into writing about himself and, guys, he’s really good at this… as in way better than me! So read it, it’s entertaining!}

Hello, James here. Melina's birthday is coming up and she has been in a terrible mood for months because of this (only a slight exaggeration). She assures me if I contribute to this blog (more than I already do) that she will be happy. So here goes my post in regards to "layering."

I really only have one simple rule: wear sweaters as often as you can. 73 degrees with a slight breeze?  Cold enough weather for a sweater. Especially if you spend the majority of your day in an air conditioned office.

You see, I love being cold. If I had it my way, my joints would ache and creek from the damp and bone chilling air every single day. Actually let me clarify, I don't love being cold, I love warming myself with sweaters, hats, gloves, coats, two pairs of socks, and thermal underwear. I like to bundle -- that's what it all comes down to.

So Melina tells me I'm good at "layering."  I would rather describe my compulsion, to drape as many fabrics around my body as possible, more accurately. So moving forward I will be substituting layering for bundling.

Lets address my outfit in this picture and examine why it is shitty bundling, which would only be acceptable in Los Angeles. Shoes are simple and affordable Dockers. I'd rather be wearing a thick pair of leather boots with a soft lining. I wore a green tee shirt because it was St. Patrick's Day. Shitty because it isn't a thermal. My button down is a flannel from Lands End Canvas. Pretty good but it would be better if it was fleece lined. My cardigan is from Banana Republic and it's my least favorite item I'm wearing because it is actually my favorite item of the outfit. Let me explain. It's made of wool and is just thick enough to fool me into thinking that I am bundling properly, so I love wearing it. However, if it's -15 out there, add the wind chill, and the powder from the snow drifts hitting you like it's shot out of a sand blaster, this cardigan is a piece of crap. I want buttons made of wood and a shawl collar. Something Steve McQueen would have worn. On to my jacket. It's Alpine brand and is waterproof and has a hood, points in its favor. Yet, in the scenario I just described, it too is crap.

So why don't I dress like Kurt Russell in "The Thing" you ask? Because I'm afraid. First of heat stroke, because I live in the damn desert. (This is where the jobs are). Secondly because I would be judged by society and I learned in high school it was always best to fit in. So I go about my days without gloves or scarves. I rarely wear thermal underwear, especially my long-johns. I left my wool peacoat in a closet in New Hampshire. I often wear useless canvas shoes. Rarely am I waterproof. I don't own socks made of alpaca wool.

So Melina tells me I'm good at layering. Well I'd tell her that I make horrific sacrifices everyday. That's why I eat too much and don't exercise enough: because if I can't bundle with fabrics, I can do it with fats.


Let's chat. What's on your mind?

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